Holidays...

oh geez...it's been a while, hasn't it? sorry!!! i've just been kinda out of it what with school and then this week, midterms, and all sorts of stuff...so...yeah. but anyway. that's all done. so anywho, today i got outta school for winter break. monday, my uncle and grandma fly in, and friday, my dad drives up to NYU to bring my brother home. what are your plans for the holidays? Do you celebrate Hannukah? Kwanzaa? Christmas? I don't know very much about Ramadan, or any Hindu traditions...so why don't you tell me? I'll tell you guys our Christmas traditions...so every Christmas Eve, we go to 8pm mass, come home, eat at like 10, put Baby Jesus in the Nativity, and then go to bed. Christmas Day is a whirlwind of opening presents, cleaning up, and then depending on which of the three families is hosting, getting ready for Christmas Day dinner. So tell me, don't be afraid, we're all pretty embracing of other faiths on this blog, even though there's only one person writing it (me)...anywho. Whatever you celebrate, I hope that you end it with happy memories.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays, and (finally) Happy New Year.

Love,
Invisible

I Know, I Know, I Know...

Ok, so yes, I haven't written in a month. I apologize. I've been busy. And just as an update on the whole thing with C, it's useless. I should just give up and forget about him because I have absolutely no chance seeing as how he only likes me as a friend and is seemingly going out with this other girl he flirted with at a cornmaze we went to. (don't ask.) But anywho, I'm just rambling now. I have yet to get over him, and somebody else who just reappeared in my life after a...seven month absence. I'm actually kinda pissed at myself actually, because I had been doing just fine, you know, not thinking about him and almost, almost forgetting about him, until I saw him the other day. I swear, it was like one minute, I'm fine, just peachy, and the next I'm reliving all these memories that I was trying to forget. How unfair is that? And then, like, Saturday night I'm having this dream where I'm a thief and I have to dress up as a boy to get what I have to steal (again, don't ask) and then I meet this really really really nice guy, and I wake up Sunday morning, smiling and happy, only to realize that he's...not real. ARGHH!!! Yeah. I did just make a frustrated noise similar to a stereotypical pirate greeting. Anyway. I realize that I don't really ask you anything. I mean, you as the reader are obviously a very kind person to take the time to read this most nonsensical blog ever, so I should stop talking about myself so much and ask about you. Are you doing okay? Is the person you really really like causing you to lose sleep and/or happy mornings over him/her? I guess you don't really have to answer this, but still. All right, well, I should be getting to my homework. Just thought I'd drop in, say hello.

I Finally Did It...

You may or may not remember a certain guy whom I was complaining about like three months ago. Well, let me just say, which I might have omitted before, that he is a d*ckhead, and now, I am finally free. Over the course of the past week, I have been slowly cutting all ties I have to him from my life. First, I deleted his number from my contacts. Then I deleted all the text conversations I had had with him. Then I deleted all the call records of when we had talked on the phone. And lastly, just now, I deleted his email contact and all email conversations I've ever had with him. I feel like this great burden has been lifted from my shoulders and that everything is going to be all right...I just wanted to let you know...

PS- it turns out that "C" from my last post couldn't ask out the girl he wanted to because she already has a date...thought maybe you'd like to know...

Questions...

You've all heard the famous quote from Hamlet, "to be or not to be, that is the question"...well, I have a variation: "to ask or not to ask, that is the question"... I go to an all girls school, and homecoming is coming up, and I have no idea whether or not to ask my friend...let's call him...C...or just to go stag...but the thing is, C wants to ask out this girl he slow danced with at a mixer and I don't know what to do...I'm asking for help here...

One Quick Question...

Just a quick question, when you think of the month of August, what comes to mind? Same thing with June, too...I was just wondering...

Finally

Yesterday I finally got my very own pair of real, legit Converse. The ones I had been totally trying to get at a decent price since two Christmases ago. Yay! Haha, I also got a plethora of neon-colored no show socks to contrast the black and white sneakers. I saw a pair of Converse that looked just like the ones Benny gets at the end of The Sandlot, but I decided to forego the all black high tops and listen to my brother's advice and get the classics. Just wanted to let the world know...

An Eerie Sky

I am standing outside, watering the flowers, when the sky starts to rumble with the sound of thunder, and the clouds begin to faintly flash with lightning. That was probably less than 15 minutes ago. Now, I'm writing this, looking out my window, watching the flashes come more frequently, and the light seems to touch the streets. The thunder is getting louder and faster as the seconds pass, and I have to admit, I'm beginning to get a bit scared. The sky is lit unnaturally, with an eerie glow to it that you only see in movies. I just needed to say this...Nothing more...

I didn't know what to call this one...I don't even know what to write, it's as though my brain and fingers have been taken over by some sort of need to write one little thing down. It's pouring outside, and I'm sitting in my room writing this, watching it rain, watching the sheets of water come down, the streaks of lightning lighten up the sky in the most frightening way, and hearing the rain as it pounds the streets, and the thunder, as it shows its indignation at being showed up by the lightning. For many people, the sights and sound of a thunder storm, the dreariness of it all, are usually depressing, hell, even I find it depressing most times. But now? Not so much. Now, it's welcomed. It's making me slow down, feel like I can finally get all my thoughts in order...ha! Like I will ever be able to get all my thoughts in order. How did I get here? I went from not knowing what to write, just wanting to write something, to a rant on thunderstorms, to getting my thoughts all lined up in abc order. Amazing, isn't it? I call this a brain train run, because like a train, your mind can take you from one place (read: thought) to another. Look, I'm just gonna post this, because it's sounding a lot like a rant and I don't want to bore you guys...

Have You Ever...?

Have you ever been listening to the radio, or looking up music on youtube, and hear/come across a song that makes you feel like it was written especially for you, or that it describes a recent situation perfectly? That's been happening a lot to me. Lately I find myself looking up songs that are like, whoa, dude, that is like, exactly what is happening right now. Not on purpose, but I just look up one song, and then I scroll down the other videos list, and I pick one at random, and it's mind blowing sometimes. Or, I hear a song that reminds me so much of a time that I had been trying to forget and now it's back in my head, and I can't shake it, and now my heart is hurting all over again. I guess, maybe it doesn't only happen to me, but it just feels really significant...

Yesterday...

"Yesterday,
Love was such an easy game to play..."
Yesterday, my friend finally told off the guy she and I have both liked forever, whom I've never pursued for her sake, and this morning she called me, sobbing, because even though she'd had mixed feelings about him for a while (he played us both and we both forgave him and he tried to pursue us again and I told him that I just wanted to stay friends with him and that I probably wasn't going to go out with him any time soon for obvious reasons), she still likes him. And she will always be his number one girl, compared to me. I know you probably don't care about my friend and my messed up guy troubles, but I just needed to tell somebody without really telling anybody. All I can say is, thank goodness I won't be seeing him again, now that I've graduated. (Did I mention that, by the way? No? Well, I've graduated...just as a btdubs.)

Memorial Day

THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER

"There's a graveyard near the White House,
where the Unknown Soldier lies.
The flowers there are sprinkled,
with the tears from a Mothers eyes.

I stood there not so long ago,
with roses for the brave,
and suddenly I heard a voice
speak out from far beyond the grave.
"I'm the Unknown Soldier,"
the spirit voice began,
"And I think I have the right,
to ask some questions man to man.

Are my buddies taken care of?
Was their victory so sweet?
Is that big reward you offered,
selling pencils on the street?

"Did they really win the freedom
they battled so hard to achieve?
Do you still respect that Croix de Guerre
above that empty sleeve?
Does that gold star in the window
now mean anything at all?

I wonder how my wife now feels,
when she hears a bugle call?
And my baby who says
"Hello Central, give me no man"
can they replace her Daddy,
with a military band?

"I wonder if the profiteers
have satisfied their greed?
I wonder if a Soldiers Mother,
ever is in need?
I wonder if the kings who planned it all,
are really satisified?
They played their game of checkers,
and eleven million died.

I'm the Unknown Soldier,
and maybe I died in vain.
But if I were alive and my Country called,
I'd do it all over again."

-Unknown Author (I got this off a website)

This is for every man and woman who have given their lives in the Civil War, WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, at the World Trade Center and at the Pentagon, in Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom, and for all the soldiers all over the world, not just the Americans. But the French, the English, the Spanish, the Polish, the Russian, the German, the Mexican, the list goes on and on. For every single person fighting for their country, giving up their lives for their country, taking the risks of losing everything and everyone they've ever loved, this is for them. Take some time today to think about the fact that the reason you're able to sit at home and eat hot dogs and hamburgers and cheeseburgers at a barbeque, or the reason that you can go to the pool and the beach and relax is that everyday, there are men and women, maybe even relatives, fighting for us. Fighting for our freedom. Fighting, so that we can do all those things in peace. Protecting us.

You Know...

You know what's kinda scary/hilarious? When you go to order the pick-up special at the local pizza joint over the phone, and you order one cheeze pizza, and the guy says "this is for (my last name)?" I just have to laugh when that happens, because it just shows that nothing's really changed here at home.

Oh Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy...

Oh boy oh boy oh boy...there's only three weeks left of school for me before I graduate... Oh God... this is going to be sooo hard, I mean, some of these people I've known practically all my life and I don't know when I'll see them again. Oh geez...this is sooo scary...new school, new people, it's kindergarten all over again...*sigh*...

I Think...

I think that what I hate the most is when my parents fight. I mean, can't they ever just have a nice conversation without my dad getting angry or my mom taking my dad's jokes too seriously and getting insulted? Just Sayin...

I'm Super-Di-Duperty Excited...

Hahahaha guess what I bought? (imagine me saying this in a sing-songy voice)

Tangled!!! I stayed up super late last night watching it while my parents are asleep...tehehe!

Just thought you should know. . .

Rainy Days...

Rain, rain
Go away
Come again
Another day. . .
Pretty please?

Fine Lines...

In school, we are reading Lord of the Flies. I would just like to say that there is a very fine, fine, mason-dixon imaginary fine, line between descriptive, and descriptive. I mean, seriously? Who spends a whole freaking paragraph about a lagoon? Ugh...

Who Am I?

Who am I?
Am I the one they turn to,
Looking for advice and answers?
Or am I the one
They hate to see?

Who am I?
Am I their secret keeper?
Always quiet, never revealing
Am I the one they seek,
So as to have someone near?

Who am I?
I am the one who’s never first,
Always a second choice.
The forever replacement,
The third wheel, the loner.

Who am I?
Do I even know?
Would you even notice
If I were to go
Someplace, unseen.

Who am I?

-Unknown Author

Tell me I'm not the only one...

Please, tell me that I'm not the only person who hates to disappoint their parents. I have an application essay to write, and my dad is so angry that I'm writing it five days before the due date. He literally said to me "I am very angry with you." Sometimes, he makes me so angry, and yet, I can't bear to have him so angry at me. Does it make sense to you? I just want to know that this doesn't happen only to me.

"For the First Time" by The Script

"We're smiling but we're close to tears" ("For the First Time"- The Script)

I am seriously starting to believe that some people have the ability to read minds. The Script (one of my favorite bands) recently came out with this song, and it kinda makes me feel like they're following me or something. That's only one line, but I swear that almost everyday I have to put on a big smile and pretend that I don't give a damn that my best friend is going out with the guy I've liked for three years. Ugh...

But do me a favor, look up this song, and maybe a few others by the same band, because I know you'll fall in love with them. Just like I did...

"The Road Not Taken"

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

And took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads onto way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two rods diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

-Robert Frost

This is probably one of my favorite poems. Just Sayin...

Snow...

Have you ever noticed, that at night, when it snows, in the neighborhood, it's completely and totally silent? I'm not talking about just regular silence, like the silence you hear every other night. I'm talking about how, it could be only 10pm, and there is not a single sound, almost as if the snow is muffling everything. Or maybe, all the noisemakers (birds, bugs, people, cars), seem to notice that it is in fact snowing, and they sort of stop making the noise to admire it. Then, once they realize that they aren't making any noise, they don't really want to start again, because they don't want to break that peaceful silence. I'm Just Sayin...